Mash Report star finds it will chips with everything if science fiction becomes reality

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I like science fiction, writes Steve N Allen.

I grew up wearing glasses so I didn’t have much say in the matter.

And this year is starting to feel like the year when science fiction becomes real.

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Some UK firms are looking into implanting microchips into their staff.

Steve N AllenSteve N Allen
Steve N Allen

This is one step away from Logan’s Run.

That’s a film that no one likes these days.

If you’re old enough to know its plot you’re old enough to be exactly the kind of person they kill off in it.

Several legal and financial firms in the UK are reportedly in discussions with a company responsible for fitting thousands of people with chips in Scandinavia.

They’re small bits of kit, the size of a grain of rice, which are injected into the soft flesh between your thumb and index finger and act as ID cards or passes.

It’s basically like getting your pets chipped.

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So now, if you run off in your lunch hour and poop in the park they can track you.

I may have just given away too much about why I don’t do office work any more.

People say the microchips help security but is that the case?

At the moment if someone wants to break into your work system, all they have to do is nick your ID card.

But in the future they’ll have to chop your hand off.

That doesn’t make me feel safer.

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Some people worry about privacy because your boss will be able to track everywhere you go.

But seeing as most people post their whole life to Facebook these days, your boss doesn’t have to.

The most interesting bit is that advocates of this technology claim the chips allow frictionless transactions at security checkpoints and travel terminals.

So could this solve the issues with the Irish border?

No. It’s science fiction, not utter fantasy.

Follow Steve on Twitter at @mrstevenallen